Plan before arriving!
- Reach out to your roommate(s) before arriving on campus! In your housing assignment letter, you will find your roommate's name and email address.
- Decide who is bringing which items (mini fridge, tv)
- Think about your own needs and boundaries (sleep and study time, guests, belongings)
- What should you know about each other prior to moving in?
Communication is the key!
Establish ground rules early and keep lines of communication open throughout the year. Take time to discuss issues and get everything out in the open. When conflicts arise, reflecting on these topics can help resolve disputes before they become unsolvable. If faced with a particularly difficult situation, talk with your Resident Assistant (RA). If your RA is not able to assist you, they will refer you to someone who can.
Roommate agreement form
Make sure to fill out the Roompact roommate agreement form during the first few weeks of the term. Set yourself and your roommate up for success!
Suggested roommate topics for discussion:
- Study habits (times/areas)
- Noise levels (music/TV)
- Security (locking doors/windows)
- Gatherings
- Cellphone use
- Overnight guests
- Alcohol (consumption/values/practices)
- Hygiene/Cleaning (how often, by whom)
- Borrowing Items
- Sleeping habits
- Pet peeves
- Food (sharing/cooking)
- Room temperature
Realize that your roommate doesn't have to be your best friend
Living with a roommate does not mean that you have to be best friends. You might turn out to be great friends, but you also might just be people who share a living space. That's okay! There can be a lot of pressure around becoming friends, but sometimes the best roommates are just that, roommates.
Be respectful
You don't have to agree with your roommate's beliefs, values, or likes and dislikes. However, hold space for respectful disagreements with one another. They might disagree with one of your values as well. Ideally, you can learn and grow by understanding the perspective of another person.
Disagreements are normal
Realize that disagreements are an ordinary part of life that help clear the air. Don’t ignore disagreements. Talk about them! Take care of conflicts right away. The longer things build up, the worse they get. Work at achieving a compromise as a way to avoid or end conflict. Ask your RA for help if you need a mediator.
Decide when and when not to confront your roommate
Avoiding confrontation usually means avoiding a problem that will need to be resolved sooner or later. Think of confrontation as the first step to resolution, and as such, the first step to reestablishing a harmonious living environment. But sometimes confrontation fails, especially when the timing is wrong. Avoid confrontation when your roommate is running out the door, yelling at you or about to go to bed. Judge what time is best to approach your roommate or ask to schedule a time that is convenient for both of you to sit down and talk.
If you are wrong, admit it
Taking accountability and owning up to your mistakes is beneficial to any relationship. So, admit when you're wrong, and by doing so you'll encourage your roommate to do the same. Nothing can restore a relationship more than a sincere apology.
Have fun!
Living in a residence hall should be a fun and rewarding experience. Spend quality time with your roommate and have fun together. Remember, however, that there are a lot of other people in your residence hall to spend time with. Get to know your neighbors and make the most of the residence hall living experience!